he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
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