we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
