Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
