would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
