what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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