I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
When are your genitals available?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
