Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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