So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
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Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
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Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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