so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
