Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
