grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize