i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
