So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
