sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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