i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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