WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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