Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
