I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I want her autograph on my taint
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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