Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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