Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i think i just lost a toe
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
