Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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