I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
PANTIES FOUND
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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