Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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