i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
