Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
