Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
