Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
