I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize