I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
