i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
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By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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