You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
