i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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