I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My life is pants optional.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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