I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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