So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
