Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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