She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
