I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
