Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
