Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
