Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
