dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
