your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
