HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
