You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize