Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
