Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
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Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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