and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
