I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
