Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Someone signed my nipple.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize