sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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