Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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