There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
