dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize