im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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