But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
