Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
