woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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