I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We had to coat check the pizza.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
did i just pee glitter
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
that is very illegal...i love you.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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