You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
