u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
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I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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