I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
