Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
