My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
