I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
