I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize