I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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