I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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